The Effect of Alcohol on Family Members

What-ho my old beans!

I’m going to be murdered by my family for writing this post.

Sparked by a recent family birthday dinner which involved at least two of my family getting slightly brandybucked (nerd term for ‘getting drunk’).

So basically, I shall describe the most entertaining moments where I have witnessed drunken family members.

The Step-dad

The epitome of hilarious drunken antics. I have two abiding memories of just pure drunkenness. The first being when we were sitting down having a family meal in the evening. Utterly no clue how much alcohol had entered his system, yet he proceeded to become louder and louder. Then, as drunk people do, he knocked his wine over onto the table. Of course, we scolded him; this then became a mixture of outrage and laughter as he began to lick the wine off the table. It was… interesting.

The second memory was during a festival in France where he got rather carparked (as he must be in order to consort with the Frogs) and took my mother off for a dance. A dance of truly spectacular fashion. Needless to say, I walked away at this and pretended I was of no relation to them.

The Uncle

This is the one I am going to be killed by, for I believe he now in fact reads my blog…

Either way, I have not actually seem my Uncle drunk that many times. He was one of the members of the aforementioned birthday dinner who happened to get drunk. I think what’s most entertaining about my drunken Uncle, is the contrast between his sober demeanour opposed to it’s drunken counterpart.

As a sober man, he keeps up a rather somber appearance. He is usually polite, occasionally slightly snappy (especially with family), but more or less quite nice company. Now, when he gets drunk (which doesn’t take much; there is a family expression about him: “you could open a packet of wine gums in Sheffield and he would be drunk.“) he becomes over-the-toply (can I use that as an adverb? Fuck it, I’m going for it) sociable. At the birthday dinner, he resorted to attempting to communicate with a poor, perplexed waitress in an extremely thick (and terrible) Yorkshire accent. Once again, that was an interesting experience.

 

Those are the two main entertaining drunkards of the family. Another honourable mention (which she is going to maim me for) is my sister. Though I have not witnessed her utterly wasted, I have heard the stories of throwing up. I have also experienced the sound of her chucking up delightfully into a toilet. That was both scarring as well being highly humourous (it also donated many opportunities to tease her for me).

There you go. Drunkard family members. Do any of you have any entertaining stories that you wish to divulge to us? I’m sure your family wouldn’t mind… that much.

 

Interview with Nema Ruffalo

What-ho my old beans (I have decided that shall be my new greeting).

Today, I am once again trying something different to broaden my horizons, as well as helping out a friend.

So, as some of you will know, I have a profile on a site called Wattpad, which is basically a big story website where anyone can write stories.

My intention today, is to introduce a fairly prestigious writer upon there. I like to think that we are friends, plus I do admire her dedication and effort she puts into her stories. Therefore, I have asked her some questions and have received some answers.

Her name is Nemaiza (or Nema) Ruffalo, and she has written several stories, her most notable one being The Last of The Guardians. Without giving too much away, it is a Hobbit Fanfiction, which ties in closely with the film/movie version of the story. It is well worth a read.

Right, onwards to the questions:

Where did your idea for ‘The Last of the Guardians’ come from?

Well it was just after An Unexpected Journey first came out and I had recently discovered role-playing on Twitter. I wanted my character to be something new to Middle-Earth so I came up with the Guardians. It was just a small idea at first but the more I thought about it the more captivated I became by the idea. It got to the stage where I began thinking about the Guardians in the Hobbit timeline. I hadn’t ever written a fan fiction before but I thought it was a fun idea so I gave it a go and here we are!

Where did the character of ‘Nemaiza’ come from?

Well obviously the name is the same as mine so I would say she is a fairly accurate self-insertion. We are alike in appearance, as well as in our beliefs. As I’ve said before, I enjoy role-playing on Twitter so I really wanted to involve myself in the story.I spent about two weeks imagining little scenarios just to find the right fit for me in the story. I didn’t actually plan to make the story revolve so much around the Guardians but the more I wrote, the deeper I got into what the Guardians actually were and why they existed.

As for Nemaiza’s personality, it mostly stemmed from the desire to not make a Mary Sue character: so although she’s good looking, a skilled fighter, and compassionate, she does have flaws and she’s not always the hero. She’s not 100% fearless either.

Her appearance was based loosely around that of angels but I didn’t want to have too many religious connotations so I changed the name to Guardians, which I actually much prefer.

What influences you to write?

Turns out it’s mostly music. I’ve found that listening to ‘I See Fire by Ed Sheeran makes me want to write my Alternative Universe Hobbit fan-fiction (coming soon!). My readers, or fans if you want, are also a big influence over me; their comments make me want to write more just for them.

As for original works, anything can trigger an idea. I can see someone in the street and think of a few lines to describe them which I think is good practice. Or I can be in the middle of a test and an idea will hit me that I have to hold onto until I’ve finished. Now that’s an utter nightmare.

So really, anything influences me: strangers, fan comments, other novels, even abstract things like the way the sunlight hits the wall (when it’s actually sunny here…).

Do you set yourself deadlines and actually stick to them?

The main deadline that I set myself is the Friday Fan-Fiction update which I’m not bad at sticking to most of the time. My biggest challenge was last November when I did NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month) in which the aim was to write a 50,000 word novel in 30 days. I managed that and I’m pretty proud of it but writing is the only deadline I can stick to. School essays on the other hand, are not so easily achieved.

When did you first start writing stories for fun?

I think I was about five when we had to write a story in class about being abducted by aliens. I didn’t ever finish it because I’m awful at writing short stories; this bugged me, so I tried to keep writing it at home. I suppose that’s when I first got into creative writing. Plus, I was always making up stories about what we’d done at play group – one time I told my mum we had climbed a pylon while on a walk… She wasn’t impressed.

Finally, do you write a plan out before you start a story?

I’ve never actually planned a story that much before. When I was still considering writing a fan-fiction, my days consisted of thinking about the storyline, which actually took up pretty much every waking minute of the day. This continued until I had a rough idea for a plot. So I guess I have planned it, but every detail is in my head. However, my mental plan (in terms of in my head, not crazy…) does change a lot.

I don’t want to give away any spoilers but quite a lot of the key events in both parts of TLOTG changed even as I was writing them. You’ll have to read it to find out these key events!

——

And there you have it! That was my interview with Nema. Now, I implore you to go and read her stories – a link to her profile can be found here.

I wish thou all a joyous adventure in your respective lives (this is now my farewell line. Deal with it).

 

Three Obsessions Ultimately Leading to Insanity

The definition of ‘Obsession’: the state of being obsessed with someone or something.

Oh how unhealthy.

Really, obsessions can take the form of anything: a celebrity, a person (not that celebrities aren’t people…), a film, a book, a hobby. Either way, an obsession is not regarded as a good or healthy thing.

Which is why my three obsessions are quite plausibly a tad worrying.

The first obsession is obviously going to be that of all things Lord of the Rings. Any variation upon this and I am there. Intensively obsessing. I suppose you could call it “fan-girling”, except I’m not a girl so…

Now for the other two. These are two that only my close friends know about. As well as the occasional person who just happens to find out. One of these obsessions is blue eyes.

Any person, regardless of gender, can have gorgeous blue eyes. It’s my weakness. It’s also what I notice first about a person when I’m meet them for the first time. It’s not a healthy obsession. I have been known to be talking to friends with blue eyes about something important, and just get lost in their eyes. Then, after an awkward silence where I’m expected to reply, I have to say “I’m sorry. I didn’t listen to a word you just said.” – that tends to lead to some awkward situations.

That is probably my worst obsession. The last one is solely a desire to meet and talk to new people all the time. It’s not a bad thing, just I do occasionally get swamped by too many conversations at once.

What about you? Do you have any obsessions, healthy or unhealthy? Let me know in the comments.

Top 10 Celebrity Crushes

For the sake of equality, this list consists of both male and female celebrities.

All the celebrities (come to think of it, they’re all actors and actresses…) on this list have been chosen because

1. I think they’re good actors and

2. I think they’re rather attractive… In a completely heterosexual way of course.

I shall also attempt to list them in films/TV shows that I’ve seen them in!

So, it begins, in no particular order:

1. Milo Ventimiglia (Heroes, Kiss of the Damned, Dirty Deeds)

2. Juno Temple (St. Trinians, Year One, The Dark Knight Rises)

3. Viggo Mortensen (Lord of the Rings, Appaloosa, A History of Violence)

4. Katie McGrath (Merlin, Dracula)

5. Harry Lloyd (Robin Hood, Game of Thrones, The Fear)

6. Jennifer Lawrence (Hunger Games, American Hustle, Winter’s Bone)

7. Daniel Feuerriegel (Starz: Spartacus)

8. Alexis Bledel (Sin City)

9. Ewan McGregor (Star Wars, The Island, Deception)

10. Ellen Hollman (Starz: Spartacus)

A Day to Eclipse All Others…

I feel like my day should be shared with everyone. Or more, the two things I witnessed today should be shared.

I went shopping, which was fairly uneventful – apart from buying a pair of very expensive jeans and getting lost trying to find shops – and then came back to watch a film with my friend.

We had both had a burning yearning (not often I say that) to watch this film. I actually am rather ashamed to say that. We had found the trailer on YouTube and were half-skeptical, half-mesmerised by the look of it. I refer to the film that can only be described as… well, kinda stupid. All Superheroes Must Die.

If you haven’t seen it, picture a parody of Kick-ass. By all means, that should sound decent, until you realise that Kick-ass is, in itself, a parody of all other superhero films… But then you have this film.

Someone has it in for four superheroes. With no back-story, nor any reasoning for anything behind it, you are just left thinking: was this meant to be a serious film?

We watched the introduction from the producer/director/actor, who said that they only filmed it in 2 months. When you take that into account… No, it doesn’t change anything. It was just a terrible film. Still, I don’t regret watching it at all. It was funny. Only problem was it wasn’t meant to be funny…

So after my friend left (in a state of complete bewilderment and shock) I settled down with the intention of avoiding films for at least a week. However, I quickly found a copy of Sharknado online and just had to watch it…

Its most redeeming feature is that it was, in fact, better than All Superheroes Must Die. Despite the vacant logic and truly gigantic plot holes, it wasn’t actually too painful. Just a bit weird… And stupid… But it did have Vicky from American Pie in it (who sadly hasn’t aged well). The dialogue was considerably better in this film than the previous one, as well as the slightly more believable… Okay, no, who am I kidding: Tornadoes with sharks in them? That’s possibly less believable than superheroes.

So really, my day has been filled with terribly stressful shopping, terrible dialogue, terrible storylines, terrible CGI and just overall terrible-ness. Great job Hollywood – we truly love you (part of me actually means that… atrocious films are quite enjoyable, in the sense that you can laugh your head off at the logic behind them).

I implore everyone to watch both these films. I guarantee you’ll love them… kind of… not really. GOOD LUCK.

Hoarder of all Things Nerdy

There is a thin line between the title of ‘nerd‘ and the title of ‘geek’.

The way I look at it is: I am a nerd, whereas my sister is a geek with maybe a dash of nerd throw in.

My definition of a ‘nerd’ goes something along the lines of “someone who has some obsession towards a certain film/book fandom, where it is viewed by other people as bordering upon sad”. I personally think this sums me up rather well. On the other hand, my definition of a ‘geek’ is “someone who excels academically to the point of being judged for being too intelligent”. This sums up my sister rather well, yet she also has an obsession with many nerdy things (mainly Tom Hiddleston’s Loki).

Going back to the subject of me (because I’m incredibly vain and so on), I have never excelled academically in any way. But I do have a frightfully unhealthy obsession with the Lord of the Rings, as well as other minor obsessions with many fandoms.

The reason for the title of this blog, is because I recently completely redecorated my room. This involved shifting everything out of it, repainting it, then shifting everything back in. Before shifting everything back in however, I had the extremely difficult job of throwing out all the things which I no longer wanted/needed. After seeing all my clutter piled up together, I became aware that I was, in fact, a hoarder. Not a typical hoarder of any useless junk, but a fantasy hoarder.

I had terrible toys relating to fantasy franchises, many “Visual Companions” for the Hobbit, calenders, books, posters, maps; and then the occasional sports-related object, which made me feel slightly better, until I realised how insignificant the sporty items were compared to the overpowering aroma (yep, totally works in context) of nerdier objects.

To demonstrate just how nerdy my room is, I shall try describe what the walls in my room are currently covered in:

You have a Fight Club posters staring you right in the face as soon as you enter my room. If you look at the front of my wardrobe, you will see a list of all the riddles in The Hobbit, as well as my favourite quotes from all three Lord of the Rings films. If your eyes turn to my far wall, you see a Fantasia poster to the left of my window (who doesn’t love Fantasia though?!), then a Fellowship of the Ring poster to the right of it. Above my bed, there is a Game of Thrones poster, then a Desolation of Smaug poster, an A-Team poster and above them a Hunger Games: Catching Fire one. Now for my truly nerdy confession: I have Anduril, The Flame of the West, hanging from my wall right next to my many posters. It’s absolutely spectacular. To the right of it is… I’m not really sure how to describe that poster. It was painted by my friends for my birthday and… Well, it’s entitled “Richard’s Dream” and involves looking at what is presumably the back of a man, wearing ass-less chaps, vambraces and a strange crossed-device over his back. I… I don’t know why, or how it ever ended up on my wall, but it did. Anyway, moving back to something vaguely on the verge of sanity, you have my inspirational mini-poster of Aragorn above my desk. Then finally, next to it you have my shiny, made-to-look-3D map of Middle-earth, which is just beautiful.

Then of course, I have many DVDs, TV Series and books, pretty much all relating to fantasy, scattered around my room. Overall, this gives my room a rather nice feeling (aside from the weird “Richard’s Dream” poster, which if you turn your head slightly to the left from being sat at my desk, you get a face full of ass…) and I’m actually quite happy with it, despite being judged every time someone walks into my room.

As for the hoarding, I have managed to bin most of my miscellaneous clutter, yet I’m sure my room shall, very soon, become filled with an assortment of bizarre and nerdy objects again, that I have no use for except to demonstrate just how nerdy I am. Oh happy days!