A Complete Lack of Ideas

Hello all you unfortunate souls who bear witness to my blog.

This is basically just a very short post to explain about the problems I am facing… That sounded completely over-dramatic, and I apologise for that.

Currently I am unable to think up ideas which could be deemed as interesting, so this “weekly” blog is now most likely going to become a “main” blog. I shall still try to post my weekly challenges, as that is considerably easier to write, and shall occasionally post other topics if and when my brain decides to kick in and donate some mildly captivating idea.

That is pretty much it! If you have any ideas for me then please do let me know, as I could really do with a kick-start…

Bye for now!

Life Plans (the Good and the Bad… And the Ugly)

There comes a time in everyone’s life where you evaluate everything that has happened to you prior to your deep contemplation. This ultimately leads you to assess what you plan on doing with your life. This then leads to one of two things: you either realise that your life has no plans and you begin to spiral down into a deep and dark state of panic where you sit down in the corner, curl yourself up into a ball, and begin to rock back and forwards with your thumb in your mouth.

Of course, the other more cheery outcome is that you know precisely what you want to do with your life, and you carry on with whatever mundane task you were performing before you became enveloped by the thoughts your evil mind conjures up.

Unfortunately, I am the former of the two outcomes, though not quite so dramatic. I have no idea what I want my future to hold for me. So it is for this reason, I have come up with two life plans: one which could plausibly be realistic, and the other which is a wild fantasy that is unlikely to ever happen. So, let us begin.

The Wild Plan

I miraculously become a famous, world-renowned writer/author, who becomes excessively rich. I would move to New Zealand, meet some model-worthy woman (who would have to be just as obsessed with Lord of the Rings as I am) and we would settle down together in a modest (maybe not so modest) house somewhere in New Zealand. After we have settled in, we adopt two pugs: one called Waffles, the other called Syrup. As for children, I have utterly no idea, as I haven’t really thought about it…

I think that roughly sums up my dream. Now onwards we go to mundane realism.

The Realistic Plan

I finish my A-levels, do averagely, and fly out to New Zealand for 6 months to work abroad (luckily for me, I actually am doing this next year). There, I will maintain a steady income, enjoy the work I do and make plenty of friends. After my 6 months of work, I would return home and get a job to tick over the rest of the year (which I hope would be quite easy to acquire after working abroad). At the end of year, I would choose between University (though I do not know what I would study) or moving away. If I chose to move away, I would go live in New Zealand again, possibly visiting one of the many friends I’d have made whilst working. I would settle down in a modest house (this time it actually would be modest) and live my life, interspersing it with work. Eventually, I would adopt two pugs: one called Waffles, the other called Syrup. With that, I end my plan. I do not know what would follow after this but I’m sure I would be relatively content with that life if I had it.

 

What about you guys? Any wild plans you have for your life, or do you intend on remaining sensible, and therefore sane? Let me know in a comment. 🙂

 

The MTV Movie Awards… Hmm

Another year and another crazy amount of films. Some great, some mediocre and some just not worth mentioning.

Yet the MTV Movie Awards always manages to conjure up some of the oddest awards possible.

If I’m brutally honest, I think most Movie Awards are just a popularity contest. Take for example, when Jennifer Lawrence won Best supporting actress in a motion picture, over Lupita Nyong’o (12 Years a Slave). I’m going to be honest, I don’t think Lawrence’s performance in American Hustle was that impressive. Sure, it was enjoyable, but there was no way it could compete with Nyong’o’s. Don’t get me wrong I absolutely adore Jennifer Lawrence – she’s one of my biggest female crushes – I just don’t think she fully deserved the award. That’s why I was glad when Lupita Nyong’o won the Oscar instead of her.

Moving back to the MTV Movie Awards, did best villain really go to Mila Kunis for her performance in Oz The Great and Powerful? I thought it was a poorly constructed film with just weird evil character. She even beat Barkhad Abdi from Captain Phillips (which in fairness I haven’t seen, but everyone I’ve spoken to have said he portrayed his character sublimely). And Benedict Cumberbatch in Star Trek: Into Darkness… Asdghjkl, that performance made my imaginary man-ovaries twinge.

And then you have Best Cameo Performance. Not gonna lie, I quite enjoy cameos. See, in my opinion, this award should’ve gone to Anchorman 2: The Legend Continues, solely because it has cameos from absolutely everybody. Instead, it went to Rihanna for her angry cameo in This is the End, where she gets hit on by Michael Cera. Yes, it was funny, but nowhere near as entertaining as the truly epic war between all the different News Stations in Anchorman. Poor call.

Last, but certainly not least, was Best Shirtless Performance. The five nominees were: Leonardo DiCaprio (Wolf of Wall Street), Sam Claflin (Hunger Games: Catching Fire), Chris Hemsworth (Thor: The Dark World), Jennifer Aniston (We’re the Millers), and Zac Efron (That Awkward Moment).
Needless to say, Jennifer Aniston didn’t win. As it turns out, these MTV Movie Awards are ruled by hormonally-crazed women. The award went to Zac Efron. Okay, I’m going to be brutally honest again… his body does resemble that of a Greek God’s. So yeah, I’ll give them that. However, feeling the need to strip off during your speech? That’s just a bit far. Sure, Rita Ora gave him a helping hand by ripping his shirt open, but did he then have to take it completely off, flex his muscles, then salute? Oh wait, he actually did a double salute… is that even a thing?
Also worth noting: Will Poulter! I think he’s an utter comedic genius. He won Breakthrough Performance for his role in We’re the Millers. I first saw him in School of Comedy, which is just kids pretending to be adults in a very crude manner… It’s quite entertaining though! However, he was also in Son of Rambow and Narnia: Voyage of the Dawn Treader (actually, as I’d read the books, I knew about the character Eustace and as soon as I heard about the film I said to myself “You know who would be great as that role? Will Poulter. And guess what? He was. Thank you thank you, bow down to my superiority), so I don’t entirely understand the Breakthrough Performance bit… Any help guys?
Well that roughly sums up my thoughts about Movie Awards in a just manner. What do you guys think? Do you feel as if they’re all a big sham and are basically a popularity contest? Or do you feel there is something more to them?Image
There, for all you massive Efron fans. ENJOY.

Dayum Gurl, You’re Smokin’

And not in a good way. I meant in terms of cigarette smoking.

Here is the Dictionary’s definition of smoking: “the action or habit of inhaling and exhaling the smoke of tobacco or a drug.”

Here is my definition of smoking: “the action or habit of filling your lungs full of all things unhealthy.”

In case you hadn’t gathered, I don’t particularly like smoking… After doing some intensive research (meaning I used Google) I found out that more than 5 million people die from inhaling tobacco each year; and that smoking can also cause cancer, lung disease, heart disease, strokes and diabetes. Can I ask why people put themselves at risk of illness simply for cigarette?

It’s when I see school children three or four years younger than me (I’m seventeen) smoking literally just outside my school gates that I begin to despair at the world.

I think I find smoking for an adult to be more acceptable, as it is meant to have some stress-relieving tendencies. But thirteen year-olds smoking? No no, you have no need to smoke; you are not stressed, nor will it really have any effect over your relaxation. You smoke to fit in. to “be cool”.

That is what I think the problem is: teenagers (sadly I cannot exclude some of my friends from this) smoke in order to try and be cool. They smoke as a way of socialising, when really it’s perfectly easy to socialise without going through the act of pumping your lungs full of tar, nicotine and god knows what else are in cigarettes.

So yes, smoking is my pet peeve. I hold my breath each other I walk past a smoker. Why? Because it smells vile.

That brings me to my next point: the smell. Surely people can’t actually find the smell very relaxing or pleasant? It stings the nostrils (and not in a good way). It was when I was twelve or thirteen I think, and we were in a Citizenship lesson, weighing up the pros and cons of smoking. My teacher said something to my class that I have never forgotten: “No one wants to kiss a smokey mouth”. I always believed that this statement was true but surely it can’t be if heavy smokers have partners? Or do these partners somehow manage to put up with the repulsive smell? Oh Good Lord, I don’t understand humanity.

Rant officially over. Apologies if I accidentally insulted anyone – I see nothing wrong with the smoker – I’m sure most people who smoke are lovely people – I just don’t see what really possesses people to start smoking. Goddamn Tobacco companies with their advertising and addictive ingredients.