A Birthday Post.

Today is my Eighteenth birthday! Alas, eight and ten years is far too short a time to live among such excellent and admirable people.

“I don’t know half of you half as well as I should like, and I like less than half of you half as well as you deserve.”

This I believe, is a somewhat pale, yet accurate, representation of how I feel about the majority of my fellow bloggers. If we were to dissect the first half of the above quote that is in bold, we would find that it bears true to my feelings. I do not know most of you as well as I should like, as my communication with other people has been rather non-existent; I would quite like to alter this, as I do enjoy surreal conversations that usually involve random ramblings.

Moving onto the second half of the quote, which is rather more difficult to relate to. I do not consider myself an offensive person, and I cannot help but to believe that Bilbo meant offence to certain members of his party with this line. I do not believe anyone I know, be it in person or through my blog, that I wish I did not know, or thought that they did not deserve to know me.

Anyway, away from the ramblings (I think several cocktails have finally found their way to my brain and made my thoughts all fuzzy. Coincidentally, the cocktail I have been drinking is called a “Fuzzy Navel”). Yes, I am now officially Eighteen, and can now indulge in the many joys that this age brings in Britain, such as:

– Legal consumption of alcohol. Despite this law, I have engaged in many frivolous nights involving alcohol…

– Voting. Not that I am interested in politics, it is just nice to know that I can now vote freely…

– Run away from home. I think this is the defining quality of being Eighteen that I shall enjoy the most.

So really, if you think about it, not a lot has changed in my life from when I was merely a pubescent teenager. Now however, I am a pubescent adult. Don’t you just love oxymorons?


An Ode to Soothers

I was originally going to attempt (however feebly it would be) to try write an ode for this, but then it struck me that I lack the artistic talent to construct one… Plus I hate most poems, so writing one is a truly daunting prospect.

So here we are with an ode-which-is-not-in-fact-an-ode. All about Soothers. I’m kind of hoping they are Universal, or only British people will understand what I am passionately commending.

Soothers, for those poor souls who have never experienced them, are rather delectable sweets which have been in and amongst many debates about whether or not they actually have any qualities which can be deemed beneficial for people with the flu, and therefore also for people with a sore throat.

This brings me onto the reason why I have decided to write an oddity of an ode (ooh I like that…): I sadly have been suffering from a severe case of a cold (also known as ‘man flu’) for just over a week now. This has led to me missing the occasional day of school, as well as feeling the pressure that all dead people must experience of struggling to breathe. Not only that, my sinuses (turns out we each have four sinuses, which I never knew) have been blocked, my head has been thumping – though that is a usual symptom for me – and I’ve just generally had no energy. Hence, the Soothers are called in to the rescue.

My favourite flavour (due to Chrome being American, it strongly detests the spelling of both those words and I hate it for it) of Soothers has got to be the blackcurrant flavour. Not only does it smell nice, but it tastes rather splendid.

However, I fancied a changed. For the first time ever, I purchased the ‘Peach and Raspberry’ flavoured sweets. Whilst it primarily caused me to gag as the sweet became attached to my tongue and was slowly drained of its flavour, I must admit, it ultimately became rather pleasant, once I’d rid myself of the first few sweets. Of course, this could be due to the fact my tongue became rather numb and lost most of its taste receptors, but this flavour did have the advantage that it gave the feeling as though it was piercing through the mucus (I truly hate that word, almost as much as I hate Chrome right now) and unclogging my throat.

After thorough research – meaning spending about 5 minutes on Google – I have found that it, in fact, does fuck all for your throat. The main ingredient in Soothers, menthol, merely uses it scent to create the illusion of unblocking your sinuses. Whilst this is helpful in the short-term, it does also mean that in the long-term my feelings of suffering re-emerge. It also means that in the long-term, my money will continue to drain away as I spend more and more upon Soothers in order to receive the temporary relief that they grant.

Not that this will ever ward me off from spending my well-earned (in the sense of that my parents give me the money and I earn it by staying out of their way as much as possible) money upon the delicious sweets. Perhaps in the future though, I will stick to the blackcurrant flavour and avoid the new peach and raspberry combination… For medicinal purposes of course.


And there is my ode-which-is-not-in-fact-an-ode.

Thinking about it, perchance it would be more prudent of me if I were to invest in some actual drugs that will help clear up my flu… I did not think of that.