Fictitious Emotions

I’m back, and a lot sooner than I was expecting. Things are looking up!

So, due to being unemployed and having very little to do, I have either been gaming (something I hadn’t done for a year so I have to make up for lost time, right..?), or watching films/TV series.

Yesterday (obviously this time will change depending on when you read this), I finished my old TV Series (Daredevil – came highly recommended, ended up being slightly disappointed), and moved onto my new TV Series: Broadchurch.


Broadchurch, starring David Tennant (yes, this is what influenced me to watch it) and Olivia Colman, not to mention numerous other people of note (including Rory from Doctor Who! Though, he’d probably prefer to be known by his real name, Arthur Darvill), is a crime/drama/mystery set in the small coastal town of Broadchurch (Dorset, England), where a young boy of eleven is found murdered.

There are three main reasons I can think of for why I am enjoying it thus far (I am two episodes in as of this post). The first being David Tennant. Because Scotland… and Doctor Who. The second reason is that the Dorset accent (or the West Country accent) is one of the most joyful accents one will ever hear. In fact, I have looked up West Country specific phrases just for you guys (and for myself):

“Gurt” means “big” or “very”

“Spuddling” means “to cause trouble” or “to bicker”

“G’woam” means “going home”

I think I need to start using G’woam more.

Either way (getting off track. Nothing has changed in the past year (…on my Gap Yah. I HAD TO, I’M SORRY)), the third reason I am enjoying Broadchurch is that it is tense and full of mystery. And actually emotional, which is the main reason for this post actually. First episode I felt myself welling up. This has happened very rarely to me in regards to TV/films.

Though I hate to bring it up (complete lie) Lord of the Rings always gets me. When Boromir dies with defending Merry and Pippin? Yeah, sacrifice doesn’t get greater than that. But I have never cried. Tears have never been shed for a fictitious person.

My sister, on the other hand, cries probably more at fictional characters than in real life circumstances. Something I have never understood. In fact, I believe she owns a t-shirt that says “Leave me alone so I can cry over the deaths of fictional characters” (which is where the picture header came from). This pretty much sums up the difference between me and my sister. That and the fact she’s the academic one, I’m the sociable one, and many other things but yeah… emotions are one of the differences.

The only time I have come close to crying over a fictional character was when I was about twelve. I went to go see the film Bridge to Terabithia at the cinema.


I don’t know what it was, but that shit was heart-wrenching. Yet re-watching it, I felt none of the same pangs. I mean, I still realised it was upsetting (my sister cried… again), but I didn’t feel any need to well up. Perhaps I am influenced more by shock than anything.

Game of Thrones Spoilers ahead. Stop reading here if you haven’t seen Season Five.

Also: rant ahead. Sorry.

Actually, as an after-note, let us discuss Game of Thrones.

Filthily riddled with death and surprising moments, it has caused many generations of the past few years to watch the show with a mixture of fear, hate, love and adrenaline. Then season five happened, and Jon Snow is apparently dead.

jon snow

Now, I am a book reader. I watched the first season, then read all the books before the second season came out (still waiting for Winds of Winter Mr. Martin, just saying). So I knew the majority of deaths were going to happen. Including Jon Snow. And his “death” has led to WAY TOO MANY RUMOURS AND PEOPLE ANALYSING EVERY SINGLE LITTLE THING THAT THE PRODUCERS/CAST SAY AND IT IS DRIVING ME INSANE. Seriously, these “Kit Watches”, as I believe they are being called are getting ridiculous. “Oh look, he still hasn’t cut his hair.” “Oh my God, he’s going to Iceland. He’s still in the show!”

WHO CARES. Yes, he is one of my favourite characters, and yes, Kit Harington is attractive, but please stop. Just watch for the next season. Now let’s watch some goddamn TV.


Game of Thrones: Then and Now

I begin this post with a grievous tale, one which I’m sure will tear at the very foundations of your full-sized aortic pumps:

I have finally finished the Game of Thrones books. Why is this saddening? Because it means my life is devoid of GoT until at least 2015. The next book (The Winds of Winter) has no alleged release date, with Martin’s publisher stating that the book would “certainly not be published before 2015”. Furthermore the TV Show has just finished its fourth series and the fifth series is unlikely to air until mid 2015.

So, in order to maintain some order in my life before I am driven crazy by this black hole that can only be filled by complicated names, excessive violence and raunchy sex scenes, I thought it would be fun to have a look at what GoT stars were doing before they became the characters that we know and love (and sometimes hate).

Let us start with one of the Starks. Obviously you have Ned Stark, played by the notorious Sean Bean, who needs no introduction except via the word “bastards” or the phrase “One does not simply walk into Mordor“:

However, other relatively less well known actors from the series have had some surprising roles in films in the past.

Take Mark Addy for example, who plays Robert Baratheon in GoT. Did you know that it is highly likely that you have seen him giving you a striptease? Yep, Robert Baratheon was in the Full Monty:

Don’t worry, I am just as scarred as you are.

Next, comes Rory McCann, who plays the strangely lovable Hound in the series. If you are British, then it is almost sinful if you have not seen Hot Fuzz, the second Simon Pegg/Nick Frost comedy duo film. But who does he play in it? None other than the one word giant, Michael Armstrong (or Lurch? I think Frost calls him that at some point):

N’aww, that adorable giggle… “Yarp”.

Any of you remember the comedy Shanghai Knights from 2003 starring Owen Wilson and Jackie Chan? Remember the bad guy in it, Rathbone? Who was a rather unctuous bad-ass? He was played by Aidan Gillen, better known as Peter Baelish, or ‘Littlefinger’.

Some actors never lose their sliminess.

Finally two, then I’ll leave you to re-watch all of Game of Thrones and go “ha, it actually is him!”. Firstly, we have Nikolaj Coster-Waldau who plays the controversial Jaime Lannister, who everyone has a love/hate relationship with. What most people don’t know, is that he featured in Ridley Scott’s Black Hawk Down, back in 2001, as a selfless sniper who sacrifices himself to save a fellow American, despite the fact that Coster-Waldau is, in fact, from Denmark (oh… spoilers I suppose):

I don’t actually think he has any lines in this film…

Finally, we arrive at the one which every single Game of Thrones fan should know. Cast your mind back to Batman Begins, the first in the Christopher Nolan Batman trilogy. Now, think of Joffrey Baratheon, the boy King who you just have to hate. He is played by Jack Gleeson, who most people seem to hate because of his role as Joffrey. Well, you’ll be pleased to know that he wasn’t always a spoilt brat with a fixation on pain and suffering; he played the innocent little blonde-haired boy who idolises Batman:

One day you’ll become a murdering psychopath… But not for at least six years.


And there you go! There are more, I’m sure, but these are my favourite actor transitions. Just a few other quick notes: actress who played Osha the Wildling was in Harry Potter; Samwell Tarly was a guest star in an episode of Merlin; Gendry played Chris in the British TV Show Skins; and Peter Dinklage is… Well, Peter Dinklage. Enough said.

One more thing: Lovable, dimwitted Hodor? Yeah, he’s a DJ. Don’t believe me? Here:

Hoarder of all Things Nerdy

There is a thin line between the title of ‘nerd‘ and the title of ‘geek’.

The way I look at it is: I am a nerd, whereas my sister is a geek with maybe a dash of nerd throw in.

My definition of a ‘nerd’ goes something along the lines of “someone who has some obsession towards a certain film/book fandom, where it is viewed by other people as bordering upon sad”. I personally think this sums me up rather well. On the other hand, my definition of a ‘geek’ is “someone who excels academically to the point of being judged for being too intelligent”. This sums up my sister rather well, yet she also has an obsession with many nerdy things (mainly Tom Hiddleston’s Loki).

Going back to the subject of me (because I’m incredibly vain and so on), I have never excelled academically in any way. But I do have a frightfully unhealthy obsession with the Lord of the Rings, as well as other minor obsessions with many fandoms.

The reason for the title of this blog, is because I recently completely redecorated my room. This involved shifting everything out of it, repainting it, then shifting everything back in. Before shifting everything back in however, I had the extremely difficult job of throwing out all the things which I no longer wanted/needed. After seeing all my clutter piled up together, I became aware that I was, in fact, a hoarder. Not a typical hoarder of any useless junk, but a fantasy hoarder.

I had terrible toys relating to fantasy franchises, many “Visual Companions” for the Hobbit, calenders, books, posters, maps; and then the occasional sports-related object, which made me feel slightly better, until I realised how insignificant the sporty items were compared to the overpowering aroma (yep, totally works in context) of nerdier objects.

To demonstrate just how nerdy my room is, I shall try describe what the walls in my room are currently covered in:

You have a Fight Club posters staring you right in the face as soon as you enter my room. If you look at the front of my wardrobe, you will see a list of all the riddles in The Hobbit, as well as my favourite quotes from all three Lord of the Rings films. If your eyes turn to my far wall, you see a Fantasia poster to the left of my window (who doesn’t love Fantasia though?!), then a Fellowship of the Ring poster to the right of it. Above my bed, there is a Game of Thrones poster, then a Desolation of Smaug poster, an A-Team poster and above them a Hunger Games: Catching Fire one. Now for my truly nerdy confession: I have Anduril, The Flame of the West, hanging from my wall right next to my many posters. It’s absolutely spectacular. To the right of it is… I’m not really sure how to describe that poster. It was painted by my friends for my birthday and… Well, it’s entitled “Richard’s Dream” and involves looking at what is presumably the back of a man, wearing ass-less chaps, vambraces and a strange crossed-device over his back. I… I don’t know why, or how it ever ended up on my wall, but it did. Anyway, moving back to something vaguely on the verge of sanity, you have my inspirational mini-poster of Aragorn above my desk. Then finally, next to it you have my shiny, made-to-look-3D map of Middle-earth, which is just beautiful.

Then of course, I have many DVDs, TV Series and books, pretty much all relating to fantasy, scattered around my room. Overall, this gives my room a rather nice feeling (aside from the weird “Richard’s Dream” poster, which if you turn your head slightly to the left from being sat at my desk, you get a face full of ass…) and I’m actually quite happy with it, despite being judged every time someone walks into my room.

As for the hoarding, I have managed to bin most of my miscellaneous clutter, yet I’m sure my room shall, very soon, become filled with an assortment of bizarre and nerdy objects again, that I have no use for except to demonstrate just how nerdy I am. Oh happy days!

Reading Habits

Personally, when it comes to reading, I have an extremely complicated schedule. Can I really call it a schedule? Either way, I don’t read in any sort of format. This probably makes reading even more difficult.

When I say I have no format, I mean that I have several books on the go. But not books that I read frequently. In fact, I started reading The Silmarillion about a year ago and still haven’t finished reading it. This is partly due to the fact that I got about halfway through, got majorly distracted by school work, tried to come back to it and didn’t understand anything that was going on anymore…

On top of this ongoing trauma, I keep on reading The Discworld Novels at random intervals. This becomes exceptionally confusing, as Pratchett’s novels are hard enough to follow anyway without leaving massive periods of time in between them. If you add the Game of Thrones books into the equation, you are guaranteed a tornado of confusion and crossed-over stories. That’s not to say I don’t like fanfictions, in fact I spend a large chunk of time on a story website called Wattpad, which involves many fanfictions. This website probably furthers my confusion about books… Why do I do this to myself?

So, to summarise, I have long-term books (Silmarillion), short-term books (Wattpad), and books that I just pick it up and start to read (Discworld, Game of Thrones). Maybe I should stop reading so much…

Anyway, what are your reading habits like? Do you, like me, read excessive amounts of books at once? Please, let me know that I’m not the only insane person out there.


Damn this post was terribly boring…