Fictitious Emotions

I’m back, and a lot sooner than I was expecting. Things are looking up!

So, due to being unemployed and having very little to do, I have either been gaming (something I hadn’t done for a year so I have to make up for lost time, right..?), or watching films/TV series.

Yesterday (obviously this time will change depending on when you read this), I finished my old TV Series (Daredevil – came highly recommended, ended up being slightly disappointed), and moved onto my new TV Series: Broadchurch.


Broadchurch, starring David Tennant (yes, this is what influenced me to watch it) and Olivia Colman, not to mention numerous other people of note (including Rory from Doctor Who! Though, he’d probably prefer to be known by his real name, Arthur Darvill), is a crime/drama/mystery set in the small coastal town of Broadchurch (Dorset, England), where a young boy of eleven is found murdered.

There are three main reasons I can think of for why I am enjoying it thus far (I am two episodes in as of this post). The first being David Tennant. Because Scotland… and Doctor Who. The second reason is that the Dorset accent (or the West Country accent) is one of the most joyful accents one will ever hear. In fact, I have looked up West Country specific phrases just for you guys (and for myself):

“Gurt” means “big” or “very”

“Spuddling” means “to cause trouble” or “to bicker”

“G’woam” means “going home”

I think I need to start using G’woam more.

Either way (getting off track. Nothing has changed in the past year (…on my Gap Yah. I HAD TO, I’M SORRY)), the third reason I am enjoying Broadchurch is that it is tense and full of mystery. And actually emotional, which is the main reason for this post actually. First episode I felt myself welling up. This has happened very rarely to me in regards to TV/films.

Though I hate to bring it up (complete lie) Lord of the Rings always gets me. When Boromir dies with defending Merry and Pippin? Yeah, sacrifice doesn’t get greater than that. But I have never cried. Tears have never been shed for a fictitious person.

My sister, on the other hand, cries probably more at fictional characters than in real life circumstances. Something I have never understood. In fact, I believe she owns a t-shirt that says “Leave me alone so I can cry over the deaths of fictional characters” (which is where the picture header came from). This pretty much sums up the difference between me and my sister. That and the fact she’s the academic one, I’m the sociable one, and many other things but yeah… emotions are one of the differences.

The only time I have come close to crying over a fictional character was when I was about twelve. I went to go see the film Bridge to Terabithia at the cinema.


I don’t know what it was, but that shit was heart-wrenching. Yet re-watching it, I felt none of the same pangs. I mean, I still realised it was upsetting (my sister cried… again), but I didn’t feel any need to well up. Perhaps I am influenced more by shock than anything.

Game of Thrones Spoilers ahead. Stop reading here if you haven’t seen Season Five.

Also: rant ahead. Sorry.

Actually, as an after-note, let us discuss Game of Thrones.

Filthily riddled with death and surprising moments, it has caused many generations of the past few years to watch the show with a mixture of fear, hate, love and adrenaline. Then season five happened, and Jon Snow is apparently dead.

jon snow

Now, I am a book reader. I watched the first season, then read all the books before the second season came out (still waiting for Winds of Winter Mr. Martin, just saying). So I knew the majority of deaths were going to happen. Including Jon Snow. And his “death” has led to WAY TOO MANY RUMOURS AND PEOPLE ANALYSING EVERY SINGLE LITTLE THING THAT THE PRODUCERS/CAST SAY AND IT IS DRIVING ME INSANE. Seriously, these “Kit Watches”, as I believe they are being called are getting ridiculous. “Oh look, he still hasn’t cut his hair.” “Oh my God, he’s going to Iceland. He’s still in the show!”

WHO CARES. Yes, he is one of my favourite characters, and yes, Kit Harington is attractive, but please stop. Just watch for the next season. Now let’s watch some goddamn TV.


Game of Thrones: Then and Now

I begin this post with a grievous tale, one which I’m sure will tear at the very foundations of your full-sized aortic pumps:

I have finally finished the Game of Thrones books. Why is this saddening? Because it means my life is devoid of GoT until at least 2015. The next book (The Winds of Winter) has no alleged release date, with Martin’s publisher stating that the book would “certainly not be published before 2015”. Furthermore the TV Show has just finished its fourth series and the fifth series is unlikely to air until mid 2015.

So, in order to maintain some order in my life before I am driven crazy by this black hole that can only be filled by complicated names, excessive violence and raunchy sex scenes, I thought it would be fun to have a look at what GoT stars were doing before they became the characters that we know and love (and sometimes hate).

Let us start with one of the Starks. Obviously you have Ned Stark, played by the notorious Sean Bean, who needs no introduction except via the word “bastards” or the phrase “One does not simply walk into Mordor“:

However, other relatively less well known actors from the series have had some surprising roles in films in the past.

Take Mark Addy for example, who plays Robert Baratheon in GoT. Did you know that it is highly likely that you have seen him giving you a striptease? Yep, Robert Baratheon was in the Full Monty:

Don’t worry, I am just as scarred as you are.

Next, comes Rory McCann, who plays the strangely lovable Hound in the series. If you are British, then it is almost sinful if you have not seen Hot Fuzz, the second Simon Pegg/Nick Frost comedy duo film. But who does he play in it? None other than the one word giant, Michael Armstrong (or Lurch? I think Frost calls him that at some point):

N’aww, that adorable giggle… “Yarp”.

Any of you remember the comedy Shanghai Knights from 2003 starring Owen Wilson and Jackie Chan? Remember the bad guy in it, Rathbone? Who was a rather unctuous bad-ass? He was played by Aidan Gillen, better known as Peter Baelish, or ‘Littlefinger’.

Some actors never lose their sliminess.

Finally two, then I’ll leave you to re-watch all of Game of Thrones and go “ha, it actually is him!”. Firstly, we have Nikolaj Coster-Waldau who plays the controversial Jaime Lannister, who everyone has a love/hate relationship with. What most people don’t know, is that he featured in Ridley Scott’s Black Hawk Down, back in 2001, as a selfless sniper who sacrifices himself to save a fellow American, despite the fact that Coster-Waldau is, in fact, from Denmark (oh… spoilers I suppose):

I don’t actually think he has any lines in this film…

Finally, we arrive at the one which every single Game of Thrones fan should know. Cast your mind back to Batman Begins, the first in the Christopher Nolan Batman trilogy. Now, think of Joffrey Baratheon, the boy King who you just have to hate. He is played by Jack Gleeson, who most people seem to hate because of his role as Joffrey. Well, you’ll be pleased to know that he wasn’t always a spoilt brat with a fixation on pain and suffering; he played the innocent little blonde-haired boy who idolises Batman:

One day you’ll become a murdering psychopath… But not for at least six years.


And there you go! There are more, I’m sure, but these are my favourite actor transitions. Just a few other quick notes: actress who played Osha the Wildling was in Harry Potter; Samwell Tarly was a guest star in an episode of Merlin; Gendry played Chris in the British TV Show Skins; and Peter Dinklage is… Well, Peter Dinklage. Enough said.

One more thing: Lovable, dimwitted Hodor? Yeah, he’s a DJ. Don’t believe me? Here:

Top 10 Celebrity Crushes

For the sake of equality, this list consists of both male and female celebrities.

All the celebrities (come to think of it, they’re all actors and actresses…) on this list have been chosen because

1. I think they’re good actors and

2. I think they’re rather attractive… In a completely heterosexual way of course.

I shall also attempt to list them in films/TV shows that I’ve seen them in!

So, it begins, in no particular order:

1. Milo Ventimiglia (Heroes, Kiss of the Damned, Dirty Deeds)

2. Juno Temple (St. Trinians, Year One, The Dark Knight Rises)

3. Viggo Mortensen (Lord of the Rings, Appaloosa, A History of Violence)

4. Katie McGrath (Merlin, Dracula)

5. Harry Lloyd (Robin Hood, Game of Thrones, The Fear)

6. Jennifer Lawrence (Hunger Games, American Hustle, Winter’s Bone)

7. Daniel Feuerriegel (Starz: Spartacus)

8. Alexis Bledel (Sin City)

9. Ewan McGregor (Star Wars, The Island, Deception)

10. Ellen Hollman (Starz: Spartacus)

I need a Hero!

I’m holding out for a hero ’til the morning light…

Possibly the weirdest introduction to a blog I’ve ever done. Linking in some vague attempt at connection to the title, I’m going to discuss my new obsession: the TV show Heroes.
Heroes is all about a seemingly random group of individuals who develop superpowers. The show – which I believe is four seasons in total – is all about the back story of them becoming… Well, Heroes!
I’m not sure what it is about this show that gets you so hooked, maybe it’s the fact that pretty much episode ends on a cliffhanger, with the words “to be continued…” printed on the screen, or maybe it’s just that as bizarre as the storyline is, it is pretty goddamn epic.
To top it all off, the actors are superb. Very few well-known actors feature in it, the main being Zachary Quinto (Spock in the new Star Trek films), playing the big bad guy, Sylar. Masi Oka (Get Smart) features heavily in it as well, playing the part of the adorable nerd that he does so well. Not to mention Hayden Panettiere and Milo Ventimiglia, who are both ridiculously attractive, and also happen to be pretty decent actors/actresses – a happy coincidence.
My advice to anyone who has not watched it is to at least try it. If you don’t like it then oh well, you just have poor taste.
I joke, but do just try it – you might enjoy it!

Dramatic Suspense (Opposed to the other type of suspense..?)

Don’t you hate, yet love cliffhangers?
Despite the fact that cliffhangers are the key to any great thriller (be it an action thriller or a thriller thriller or whatever), you can’t help but scream “OH COME ON” at your tv screen each time an episode ends with “To be continued…”.
Even in books it’s bad enough when a chapter ends leaving you on the edge of your seat (Bed? Bath? …Train?). However, the perks of reading a book are that you can immediately move onto the next chapter. With a TV Programme though, you have to wait a WHOLE. ‘NOTHER. WEEK.
I feel like I’m being a bit negative and pessimistic here… I absolutely love suspense. Even if it kills me, it’s a truly fantastic feeling.

And there you go, there are my thoughts on my love/hate relationship with tension.